- casual -

Monday 17 August 2015

• Shoes: Target; purchased; forever ago
• Jeggings: Target, I think? 
• T-shirt: handmedown
• Necklace: gift
• Choker: take a simple chain and wrap it around yo' neck twice: instant trend-following.

I was in New Jersey to have a family dinner for my birthday. I am very lucky. It hasn't always been that way. It has taken years of introspection, character improvement, and positive progress to have the truly satisfying, giving, and loving relationships I have today. 

TIP: HAPPINESS MAKES ANY OUTFIT LOOK GOOD -- Start there. It's always all about what's going on inside. You better work - on self as well as sartorial.  More on that to come. 

Tuesday 18 August 2015

If it ain't broke don't fix it. When I was in college I wore one rainbow striped zip-up sweater hoodie (from Sears Kids) nearly EVERY day. I wanted to be a cartoon character (Huge Daria fan). As much as fashion stipulates a non-repeat policy - we all know that's not real life. Have standard outfits that express YOU - then that's what people will associate with you and have a better grasp on who you are as a person. 

TIP: USE A UNIFORM -- These staple, easy, "go-to" outfits are your uniform and it doesn't have to be one top, one bottom, go for 'one vibe'. I have to believe you're beginning to see a pattern with all my leggings, tops, shifts and a-lines, and lack of patterned clothing. 

What makes you happy?

x/Amy

"putting in effort" and "not"

Thursday 13 August 2015

• Shoes: Aerosoles; purchased 2014
• Tights: unknown
• Dress: Forever 21; purchased 2015
• Necklace: gift
• Glasses: Tom Ford

Me, on my 32nd birthday. Age is a social construct you don't have to abide. Feel as young as you can. 

TIP: BUY DESIGNER ONLY IF IT WILL SERVE YOU -- I have very few designer pieces, those I do are almost exclusively shoes and accessories - things that won't go out of style, things I know I'll wear a long time. When I saw those Tom Ford cat-eye glasses in 2010 I told my mother, 'those are the only pair of glasses I will ever wear for the rest of my life' - not entirely true but I still feel that strongly.

I'd like to buy higher quality basics, however, it's not a need , for me right now. My size has fluctuated enough to not invest too much clothing-wise, avoiding buyer's remorse. However, the fact remains, if you spend hundreds on cheap threads, in that place you could have a few things that look much better and last far longer. The designer dilemma is something I'll definitely explore further here.

Friday 14 August 2015

• Shoes: Aerosoles; purchased; 2014
• Leggings: Safeway
• Top: handmedown
• Cardigan: Target; purchased forever ago
• Bag: Forever 21; purchased; 2015\

I was sick this week but I still went out for a lovely dinner with friends for my birthday. It was so heartwarming but my body wasn't ready. I woke up the next day with the summer cold giving one last heavy kick. So, a go-to outfit it is. I am SO grateful for handmedowns because they allow me to try styles I wouldn't normally - like this top, which is now an absolute favorite.

TIP: TRY NEW STYLES. This is hard for me; you'll see that as my outfits start repeating. But there are many ways to accomplish this so be open, even if you have to force yourself. If I didn't, I'd still be living in Chucks and ruffle skirts (still love that combo, but variety is a beautiful thing, I have to remind myself).

Can anyone photoshop me out of that bathroom on the left so I can have an actual 'this is me at 32' portrait? Ha.

x/Amy

too many layers for summer

Sunday 09 August 2015

• Boots: Modcloth; purchased 2015
• Leggings: Torrid; purchased 2014
• Top: Forever 21; purchased 2015
• Knit: Forever 21; purchased 2013/4
• Necklace: Target; purchased 2014
• Phone cover: Amazon; purchased 2015

I'm really into these leggings, they're mesh. Again, texture. I'm really not into how I have zero summer footwear this season save for 2 pairs of flip flops. I used to own sandals... didn't I? This is what happens when you get too into ankle boots. 

TIP: THE TURNING POINT FOR HEELS IS 3.5" -- For me, and it's probably different for everyone, but shoes go from easy-to-walk-in to painful-after-a-short-time after 3.5 inches. Four inch heels require being tried on or the assumption I won't be able to walk in them for too long. Platforms vary and can be figured out by subtracting the platform height from the total heel height. 

Footwear requires the most care. Whether you need comfort or style or height or to walk for 12 hours, put time and money into your feet, if nothing else. I was told at 23 to stop wearing heels. I didn't, and that's okay, but I spend a lot of time now revising what I'll wear on my feet. Even if you wear a cruel shoe sometimes, try to balance it out with self-care, a pedicure, and some go-to comfy kicks for lowkey days.

Wednesday 12 August 2015

• Boots: Nasty Gal; purchased 2015
• Leggings: CVS; purchased 2015 - CVS leggings are more like tights and are not great. Safeway leggings are your standard issue leggings. If buying throw-away leggings opt for Safeway. I'll get a brand when I can. 
• Skirt: unknown; handmedown 2015
• Top: unknown; handmedown 2015
• Sweater: Target; purchased unknown

August 10th and 11th were sick days (along with the 12th-14 as well, but I had to go to work at some point) so I didn't get dressed long enough to document or at all. I like layers when I'm not feeling well, kind of like being under the covers. It didn't work so well Wednesday but I got through the day, so, gold star.

TIP: HAVE GO-TO COMFY OUTFITS -- My outfit for the next two days were much more comfy and standard for me. I need leggings and a loose top or an easy dress. The layers for Wed. did not work and felt too lumpy, disjointed, and difficult. Note: this doesn't mean sweatpants. More on this later. 

What's your style backbone/ staple outfit?

x/Amy

simples

Friday 07 August 2015

• Shoes: Target; purchased circa 2012
• Tights: Target; purchased unknown date
• Skirt: American Apparel; purchased circa 2008
• Shirt: Target; purchased 2014
• Map of London Necklace: gift

Pairing pieces in unusual ways is my absolute favorite. Using an extra-casual tee under a fitted skirt makes this feel more pulled together. 

TIP: FOCUS ON FORM -- Even your tighter pieces can still be comfortable and that makes dressing for work or for a formal event more enjoyable. I buy bodysuits, wear most things veryhigh-waisted, have a staple brand/style of underwear that feels like I have nothing on, etc. all to address my short torso and curves. In both pics I have my tights/leggings up to my bra line practically because, for me, it's more comfortable than feeling cut off at my gut and let's me feel smoothed and covered. It's a short person thing, too.

Saturday 08 August 2015

• Boots: Just Fab; purchased, 2013
• Socks: unknown
• Leggings: Safeway; purchased
• Dress: Target; purchased circa 2012
• Necklace: Target; purchased 2014

i have been trying to replace this staple dress for years. I think I have finally found some pieces this fall at Forever 21. Having easy basics is the best piece of fashion advice I can give you.

TIP: DRESSES HAVE CHILL - What do you feel best in? You may actually have to try on different things to know. My cousin, devoted to jeans and t-shirts, was surprised by how bolstered she felt when she discovered modcloth dresses. While she still prefers casual separated, this was a helpful discovery. Throwing a skater dress on is way easier for me than buying jeans ever could be.

Are you into dresses or are you forever trousers? 

x/Amy

PASSIVE

Being passive is a useful tactic and an obnoxious offense.

There is the finest line between where being passive is a useful tactic and an obnoxious offense. Often when I am consciously choosing to be passive there is an ulterior motive - sometimes it's mild, like keeping the peace at work, sometimes it's spicy. 

Recently, Rachel determined a singular broken lightbulb was her passion project in the advent of post-graduation-free-time. This lightbulb was a pin in the house's environmental existence - is it on the side of deviance or the side of responsible action?  

I am reprehensibly passive when it comes to my Eco-footprint: I have an excessive auto commute and I love hairspray. Rachel and Shenandoah ended up facilitating the proper removal of said bulb - and Takoma Park is ever so slightly less at risk of mercury exposure. I am grateful for them.  

More interestingly, it encouraged Rachel and I to chat about our pinnacle pet peeves. Hers being passivity and mine being accountability - essentially the same. They both have the space to be blamey but are highly illuminating when reflected upon inwardly. Where are you being passive? How much are you accountable for? 

These are not the traits we wish our distracted, immediate-gratification soaked minds to reflect upon. However, it's a pin in our emotional existence - do you take action, and how? The core of your levels of fulfillment and distress is the answer to that question. C'mon, fess up.

x/Amy

© Danielle LaPorte

workflow

Wednesday 05 August 2015

• Shoes: Amazon; purchased 2014
• Denim leggings: Target; purchased 2012
• Top: unknown; handmedown 2015
• Jewelry: Target; purchased 2014, 2015

Leggings as pants is tricky concept. It really is a grey area. Pretty sure it's a 'no' unless you're confident in your styling - which it's very easy to be, so that makes it a yes*. This day it was nearly a miss because they were old leggings, they were thrown out at the end of the day. 

TIP: LEGGINGS AS PANTS -- A "top over the crotch" rule is standard. 

Thursday 06 August 2015

• Shoes: Nasty Gal; purchased 2015
• Leggings: Safeway; purchased 
• Top: Unknown; handmedown 2014
• Earrings: Gift; unknown
• Wonderland bracelet: Modcloth; purchased 2015
• Stacked bangles: Target; purchased 2015

One word: comfort. I'm lucky in that I don't have a corporate dress code at my job. However, I dress to inform my disposition on the job. If I need to be more present and focused, I'll dress more sharply. If I need to move and work quickly, I'll wear something like this which fall under my personal category of "work pajamas". 

TIP: TEXTILES -- Pay attention to how textures inform your disposition. Tailored tweed might be  helpful for an interview but casual Friday can extend all week if you stick to softer knits and cotton. 

What's your favorite fabric feeling?

x/Amy

mildly disheveled

Monday 03 August 2015

• Shoes: Nasty Gal; purchased 2015
• Ponte leggings: Target; purchased 2012
• Top: unknown; handmedown

Accessories are the absolute best yet sometimes I forget about them entirely.

TIP: HAND-ME-DOWNS AND CLOTHING SWAPS ARE NO. 1 -- I honestly don't know how I would clothe myself if I didn't have a weird, fortuitous flow of donated clothing. I changed sizes between 2011-2014 and I stopped buying pants after I passed a certain size (body shaming at its worst). When I reached my highest weight a friend at work gave me 2-3 garbage bags full of clothes she was getting rid of. When I tried on the cute jeggings -that fit!- I nearly cried from forcing myself to not wear pants for so long. It was a real turning point in my body positivity and my belief that I can look cute at any size. It also encouraged me to care about myself more. I have since lost much of the weight but cling to many of those precious handmedowns. Handmedowns and clothing swaps can open your style spectrum to include more items overall and try things you normally wouldn't and allow you to see your style from new and exciting angles.

Tuesday 04 August 2015

• Shoes: Target; purchased 2013
• Jeans: Denizen, Target; purchased 2013
• Top: Forever 21; gift 2012

For a while, I was only buying my clothes at Target - out of financial and fashion fear. I have since learned - you're going to spend your available clothing budget no matter what so you might as well vary where you do so, no matter how low or high the budget is. 

TIP: LOW-BUDGET =/=  NO OPTIONS -- I still love to get certain staples from from Target (shapewear, tights, leggings) and there are occasional great finds (I found a camel brown faux leather bag that actually embodies the lux description 'buttery leather', everyone loves it). But! The point is to use your money wisely and with thought. It's better to buy one nice piece higher end than many pieces just because they're cheaper. I've always honored that with shoes, I'm learning to do so with the rest of my wardrobe. Also, If you're going for trendy many stores like f21 can be cheaper, really.

I was inadvertently quite dressy for a Monday (I have Mondays off) but it felt nice to be so put together.  Simple pieces that work easily together to feel stylishly suitable are priceless and are helpful as quick go-tos; this is why the concept of successful people rocking corporate "uniforms" is gaining momentum.

x/Amy

weekend whimsy

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His mirror is dirty af. 

 Saturday 01 August 2015 

• Shoes: Aerosoles; purchased 2014 
• Dress: Forever 21; purchased 2015; $30
• Jewelry: Target; purchased 2015; +/- $30

I shopped for this dress 3 days before my friend's wedding. I'm not great at fancy dress, something I'm definitely working on. If I had more funds I would've definitely sprung for shoes, however, it being a 12 hour day, I'm glad I went for comfort. 

TIP: CHOOSE A FOCAL POINT -- I wanted the jewels of the dress and my fun new jewelryto be the focal point on the soft, neutral look. Your focal point is the boldest element of your ensemble - statement shoes, a red lip, a flower in your hair, a dress - and once you're sure of that it really takes the pressure off the rest of your pieces, allowing you to supplement with favorite, or comfortable stand-bys.

Sunday 02 August 2015 

• Shoes: karmaloop.com; purchased 2013 
• Pants: Hue; gift, 2014 
• Top: Forever 21; purchased 2015 
• Knit: Forever 21; purchased 2014 

I wanted to be a little dressed up for a special dinner. Strong contrast and a half-sleek silhouette helped that goal.

TIP: CONTRAST IS SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE -- I paired tight leather booties and rough lace leggings with soft, flowy tops. Avoids the total biker chick of the bottom and the shapeless sack of the top. 

I love both outfits but the dress was a smidge snug for me. That's what I get for last-minute-shopping! --- How much time do you put into outfit planning, for both big events and small?? Comment below. 

x/Amy

 

DISTILLATION

The specificity and brand-iness of a mission statement.

On Wednesday Gwyn asked me, “What’s your mission statement?,” and my eyes rolled right off my face. I hated that prompt. My impossible time jobhunting and trying to determine goals has made the specificity and brand-iness of a mission statement loathsome. Gwyn continued, “Mine is knowing I have a choice and pursuit of knowledge.”

“Well that isn’t very corporate,” I thought. All I could muster as a response was, “Love and creativity? Like basic concepts? Constructive creativity. Psychology of positivity.” The only breakthrough was my love of alliteration, not exactly a mission statement. Not exactly clarity of purpose, either.

We went on to discuss ‘being in the moment’ which I have a tremendously difficult time doing. Over the last week the only times I have been were when I was with my boyfriend and while redecorating my bedroom (doing things I love *wink*). While being in the moment and focusing on love and creativity isn’t the most elaborate objective it’s something I’ve come to find very difficult to actually do. I had to break it down to basic concepts I had lost touch with.

Sitting at work this week the distinction between these two modes is palpable. There is no love in corporate chaos and disordered eating. Ellen Fondiler of Miracle Workers told me this week, “Just pick something, don’t let yourself get overwhelmed just do what comes easily.” When I tap into things I love, being in the moment comes easily.

x/Amy

INTERESTS

I firmly believe anyone in a first world country need not be 'bored'.

Livejournal had this feature in their standard profile to connect people with similar interests. My bio consisted of an angsty Rilke quote and defiance against interest tags. Now, as an actual adult, I'm seeing how maintaining a firm grasp and involvement in your interests requires attention and action. I firmly believe anyone in a first world country need not be 'bored'. There is way too much out there.

So here I lay rest, the live journal list of interests that never was:

ACTING, ACTION, ANALYSIS, APPS, AYURVEDA, BEACHES, BLOGGING, BRAIN CHEMISTRY, BRITISH CULTURE, CHEMISTRY, COLOR THEORY, COMEDY, COMMUNITY BUILDING, CONCERTS, CONVENTIONS, COSMETOLOGY, DESIGN, INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, JAPAN, JOURNALING, LITERATURE, MAKEUP, MUSIC, NATURE, NATUROPATHY, NEUROSCIENCE, ORGANIZATION, PHYSICS, POETRY, POP-CULTURE, PRODUCTIVITY, PSYCHOLOGY, READING, REALITY TV, REVOLUTION, ROAD TRIPS, SCHEMATICS, SCIENCE, SELF-ACTUALIZATION, SERIAL KILLERS, SINGING, THE SINGULARITY, SOCIAL MEDIA, SOCIALISM, SOCIOLOGY, SPIRITUALITY, TECHNOLOGY, THEATRE, TRAVEL, TRENDS, THE UK, WRITING

x/Amy

FEAR

DEATH -- primary, all-consuming, takes up WAY more time than it should for something I have NO control over. I feel like worry about/ 'wait for' death the way people get caught up in a suspenseful part of a horror film.

CHANGE

1. ABANDONMENT -- Family will die. Brother and I barely talk. Cousin and I lose touch randomly for months at a time. All relationships fail (platonic and romantic).
2. IMPERMANENCE -- Goes with abandonment. Nothing lasts forever, everything always changes. Nothing is stable for the long-term or worth relying on. Constant fear of when things will end/ change.

EFFORT/ TRYING -- "Even when you excel you are NEVER good enough." There is no success when raised like that. Good grades? You can do better. Lost 60+ lbs? Lose 20 more. I fear trying because I'm convinced (I've been raised to believe) I will fail anyway - it's just a matter of where I land on the scale of.

• FAILURE
• HONESTY
• REJECTION
• HEIGHTS
• WALKING DOWN STAIRS
• WHALES

x/Amy

WORRY

I woke up at 2:30am to a text from Maureen. iMessage Today 01:31 "I need help are you awake" The ignore/respond debate was shorter than usual despite my alarm set to go off 2 hours later. "What if I don't respond and then I can't fall back asleep anyway," I prophesied. Maureen was okay, just overwraught. I texted Alex chiding him for not sending me a Goodnight-text only to find out he was ill and struggling. I wasn't falling back asleep.

The very important people in my life have been going through huge changes: moving, engagement, loss of a parent, changing jobs, moving, wedding planning, joint-custody parenting, deciding whether or not to have children, and moving. I, myself, am going through a distinct phase of fear paralysis (as a result?).

Worry is the undercurrent of adulthood. 

The purported 'goal' is to beat back every fear and dedicate yourself to the American impetus of YOLO and FOMO (aka live life to the fullest, et al). But the reality is the veil of image-management that culture makes mandatory only serves to suppress and exhaust. This is why adults need coloring books and debilitating amounts of wine because coping, existing through discomfort, has been phased out.

Sometimes I worry I have phased myself out. The only way to combat that is to show up and be rigorously honest, loving, and supportive.

Letting go and starting over is the momentum of adulthood.

I am Amy Elizabeth, age 31 and I am in a state of flux. 

x/Amy