Review: Lunarly subscription box - October 2018

Note: this post is not sponsored nor an ad, just a shared experience.

via lunarly.com

Recently I signed up for a 3 month subscription to Lunarly - a monthly subscription box that arrives just in time for the new moon to boost our manifesting energies. I was super excited when I received my first box.

October 8th was the Hunter’s Moon, new moon.

Everyone’s first box comes with their “New Moon, New Me” collection, and by collection they mean a small (maybe 20 page) notebook, 3 sheets of stickers, a bookmark, and a ‘setting intentions’ instruction card. It’s super cute, I’ll give it that, but it’s nice it comes with the rest of the goodies in the box.

October’s box included:

• full size Hunter’s Moon Candle - with the scents of Palo Santo, Amber, and warm leather — it’s SO nice I don’t want to burn it.

• black and purple ‘mini tapestry, the size of a bandana — very cute under my seasonal decor

• Black Obsidian stone, small pointed wand of black and blue color - love adding to my stone collection, unsure on the authenticity (let me know if you know!)

• 4 Sigmatic Mushroom sampler box — really excited about this one! I’ve tried 3 of 8 so far, tasty!

I was hoping for a plant (which this service boasts including). However, overall I was satisfied and happy with this box. It gave me a little of everything I’d want - decor, elixirs, pretty things and is low on waste - which for me w/ these boxes is very important. I’ve grown really tired of sample packaging and throwing away one-use items. This box includes things I’ll keep forever and only the box and the mushroom packets go in the bin.

Enjoyed ✓ Recommend ✓ Worth the price ✓

PROS

• Affordability: 4/5 — a good way to curb impulse purchases

• Eco-Consciousness: 3/5 — still a box to recycle but with minimal waste overall

• mushroom elixirs I wouldn’t have tried otherwise (a high value inclusion)

• candle is super high-quality and smells amazing

CONS

• Info Card — Not enough actual information about the lunar phase or specific moon. Would really like to learn a little more if I’m going to buy a box specifically tailored to a niche interest

• small notebook — not that important

• no plant - not really a con unless I don’t receive any throughout my subscription

Michelle Carter, welcome to your tape.

In the year of 13 Reasons Why, this is an awkward time to be on trial for assisting a suicide. 

UPDATE: Carter has been found GUILTY. Sentencing will be August 3, 2017. The Doctor's testimony (discussed below) was thrown out, the judge declared it was not part of his decision-making. 

Personal Note: While I believe she needs to know how and why what she did was wrong and there are consequences, I do not support social media name-calling, bashing, or saying atrocious things about Carter or what she does or does not deserve. She needs help, love, support, and an opportunity to grow and learn from her past. 

• Did Conrad Roy take his own life using his own free will to do so? Yes.

• Would Conrad Roy have taken his life that day if Michelle Carter had not been involved? We. Don't. Know.

• Michelle Carter did, in fact, have a heavy hand in influencing Roy's decision - regardless of the acts potential criminal implications.

The facts are all over, but what I need to discuss are the peripheral influences that will likely not get a fair inventory during this case: the factors of mental health and media over-saturation. Today, a doctor defending Carter and the potential medical side effects she may have been enduring, will take the stand. Roy's own mental health is continuously being evaluated and used as "evidence" in this trial.

How much information around being under psychiatric care is fact and how much is conjecture? 

If you google-image-search "Conrad Roy graduation" you get a very different picture of a boy that has mostly been depicted by trial coverage photos as sneering and moody. 'Graduation' results display a smiling, successful young man who likes boating  and being on the water. Both images are part of his full person. Just as you can see picture-perfect images of Carter along with her "lost puppy, I can't even believe this bullshit" face, they're both her.

People are very dimensional. It's a sad function of adulthood that there is an attempt to streamline all dimension into one highly groomed, outward-facing image. (Raised eyebrow over to all those dirty politician who get caught letting their freak flag fly.)

As of 2013-2014 there is a Grand Total of 8,389,034 kids on psychiatric drugs, age 0-17, in the United States.

Today, a doctor will take the stand in Carter's defense. However, where is the doctor on Roy's defense? There are over 8 MILLION medicated juveniles. There is only ONE of this case, which is why many are looking at this trial as setting the precedent.  However, to imply that medication or treatment played a part in this event is not only further stigmatizing the medications and the people who take them but also is manipulating the entire concept of managing one's mental health - framing it as dangerous, for people who are problematic, making things worse, a symbol of a more challenging person, or purporting that the entire concept is an erratic, unpredictable slippery slope. They are using this as a defense to explain away Carter's actions, with almost no discussion of how Roy had been benefiting and showing signs of improvement through is treatment, further damning Michelle's course of action.

Where are the scientific journals of people who have truly succeeded, healthfully, as a person utilizing the mental health industry? Where are the case studies of people who have overcome addictions, moved from delayed adolescence into functional adulthood, who conquer their fears daily and contribute positively and generously to society - not from being over-medicated, hyper-stimulated, or zombie-complacent, but from being effectively treated with moderate medication, therapy, and inner-perseverance? We don't see those journals because Pharmaceuticals is a billion-dollar industry that only promotes the NEED for medication, not the result of proper use - for fear it might discontinue.

Therefore, if a doctor is allowed to offer his/her potentially damaging testimony, shouldn't a specialist in the cultural impact of media on the youth also take the stand?

A very compelling article was published Friday June 9th by Buzzfeed News regarding the undeniable similarities between Carter's personal narrative throughout the events around Roy's passing and Lea Michele's dialogue both in and out of character on Glee! surrounding the time of Cory Monteith's death. 

So many times I've had "sayings" or catchphrases that were entirely lifted from pop-culture. I mean - Did anyone in my generation get through school without saying "I thought I was your Snack Pack," (Billy Madison) or "How YOU doin?" (Friends)? In this day and age, there are myriad fandoms that can have entire conversations in references we don't understand. However, that's not what this young woman has done. Carter is reiterating exact language from a fictional character and celebrity to narrate her personal experience.

This doesn't mean "she did it" it means she was a highly influenced teen who was very intimately attached to a hollywood incident that one year later happened to play out in her own life. 

If the Slenderman murder was legitimate then that exact same influence should be taken into account in this trial. This is not a murder trial, circumstantially, but it's also not a mental health witch hunt. The witnesses only offer specific statements, where this whole occurrence should be looked at from a wider frame, of how it fits into youth culture, developmental health, maintaining mental health, moderating media intake, etc. It's not that Michelle Carter needs to be made an example of, but she does need to realize her actions have consequences. - that fiction can't dictate reality, and lack of awareness of those actions can not be an excuse. At least, that's what Hannah Baker would want. 

October 2016: New Moon In Libra Resource Guide

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via Edith Boyer Telmer

A Black Moon and New Moon in Libra is happening -Right Now! -

A Black Moon occurs when there are two New Moons in one month. This first new moon is in Libra, the sign of two scales symbolizing balance, and, to me - Physics. The traditional image of a woman holding scales shows two components: factors within her own control (firm grip, good posture?) and also environmental ones, as well. Being an air sign, some of what keeps the Libra scales in balance, in her grasp, and holding its contents is the calm, evenly flowing air around her. Natural conditions supporting this goddesses hard work.

The first new moon in Fall is here for the harvest and encourages the concept of abundance. 

New Moon Action Items:

1. TAKE INVENTORY

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via moonconnection.com

Part of keeping your scales balanced is knowing what you're holding onto - physically and emotionally. 

Idea: Go through shoes (and clothes!) and keep only wearable options on display, put rest in bin to go through in 6 months or so.

Idea: Tell someone how you're feeling if you're holding onto some longstanding grudge. Ask if there's really something there you both can talk about or it's just a negative story your busy-bee brain has been telling you.

2. CREATE RITUALS

Having a regimen actually lets you feel more free! Like settings or defaults on your electronics, having a set routine or self-care ceremony will create more space for artistic, mental, or physical adventure! 

Check out DC's Gracy Obuchowicz's interview on My Morning Routine where she shares the details her morning ritual for some serious inspiration! 

Idea: Start with ONE - morning or evening, whichever is easier. Integrate what you already do: wash face, brush teeth, then add a little extra, a celebration of your self or your day. Free-writing, meditation, a daily 5 minute drawing, prayer, setting intentions, sun salutations, or simply lighting a candle or using a special hand lotion and saying Thank you, 

3. LET THE NATURAL ENERGY DO THE WORK

It's time to let go.

It is the exact opposite of what I want to do.

How about you? I want to plan, plan, plan. Inventory. Create routine. Decorate the house. Connect with friends. BE PRODUCTIVE. That's all well and good, however, Autumn has it's own seasonal energy. After establishing organization, routing, your list of must-do Fall adventures - let it go. Put your lists in a drawer (check in once a week, sure), know that all of the lists and intentions will be there, whether your hold them vice tight or make space for some seasonal spontaneity. Let the energy in the air help balance your scales. Be present to what you're actually doing - look down at your feet, and up at the world, get our of your head - It will only serve to benefit and enable you to see abundance you may have tasked right over. 

You are part of nature, work together. 

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via askideas.com libra tattoos

RESOURCES

• Mystic Mamma 
• mindbodygreen 
• elephantJOURNAL
• collectiveEVOLUTION

Autumn Equinox 2016

via we heart it

What is an Equinox? 

An Equinox occurs twice a year, in September and March, when the tilt of the Earth’s axis and Earth’s orbit around the sun combine in such a way that the axis is inclined neither away from nor toward the sun.

via we heart it

Earth’s two hemispheres are receiving the sun’s rays about equally around equinox-time. The sun is overhead at noon as seen from the equator. Night and day are approximately equal in length.

 

Important things to note: 

• Today, Mercury is out of Retrograde! (We made it!)

• Until December's Winter Solstice, the days will get shorter, with the Solstice typically being the shortest day of the year.

• "Equinox" is derived from the Latin "equi", meaning equal, and "nox", meaning night. This implies an equal amount of daylight and nighttime, however, that will not actually happen until September 25, 2016.

• This morning of the Equinox, the Sun enters Libra - the sign of equal scales

This is a time of balance. 

It has been a Spring and Summer of tumult, pressure, and/or simply too many overlapping plans and crossed wires. The high energies of Leo in late July and August creates a charged atmosphere that tends to be unsustainable. Now we are shifting to Libra, sweet, calming, Libra. 

In simpler terms - now we get to catch our breath. We can de-cluttering our space, set sanity-saving intentions for holidays, make our homes more cozy, and connect to the real moments of this season. 

via Elysian Life Design

It is NOT a rush to New Years Resolutions and sometimes I get caught up in that. I can't wait to plan for the BEST YEAR EVER. I get so caught up in how to celebrate my way while also honoring family and cultural traditions. I want to listen to Emo music and get reeeeaaaalllyy nostalgic - while that isn't usually the best route to peace and finding joy. All of these things are okay - but there needs to be balance. 

I will let go and acknowledge impermance. I will appreciate nature and act with integrity. I will savor the time before snow rather than living in fear of what winter will bring. I spend too much time outside of the moments and I'm really looking forward to this fall so that I can be conscious of my choices and take part in this season. 

Rituals for the Equinox

Connect with the harvest (apple picking, baking pies, carving pumpkins, creating that perfect fall tablescape). Interact with nature (string leaves for your hearth, go for a hike, have a bonfire or an autumn-y 'one last barbeque, instagram that leaf!). Set mantras, intentions, or prayers for the soul focus you want for your season. Light candles, burn sage, do a tarot spread with your housemates (my preferred celebratory ritual).

From pumpkin spice lattes to crystal grids and door blessings - find the way you connect with autumn the best, bring awareness and gratitude to it, and indulge in it.

via Over app

THINGS TO DO IN DC for the Equinox:

• DC Veg Fest

• Pathways Natural Living Expo

• IMCW Meditation offerings

• Full weekend Yoga Retreat

• Saturday Fall Equinox Yoga Workshop & Luncheon

REFERENCES

• EarthSky.org

• TreeHugger.com

FURTHER READING:

• The Spiritual Meaning Of The Autumn Equinox

• Mystic Mamma Sept. 22, 2016 Equinox

• Mystic Mamma Equinox Activating Balance

• Elysian Life Design Autumn Equinox

Positivity Project - Master List

SUMMER 2016

• WEEK ONE (06/20/2016 - 06/25/2016) Deconstruction
• WEEK TWO (06/26/2016 - 07/02/2016) Know Thyself
• WEEK THREE (07/03/2016 - 07/09/2016) Tale Of Two Inspos
• WEEK FOUR (07/10/2016) To Plan Or Not To Plan
• WEEK FIVE (07/17/2016 - 07/23/2016) Spirituality As Normal Life-Stuff
• WEEK SIX (07/24/2016 - 07/30/2016) Summer Blues

Week 7 (07/31/2016 - 08/06/2016) See All The Colors; Believe Things Work Out

What, at once, looks like a time of despair can ultimately be a time of great change and growth and renewal. 

WEEK NINE (08/14/2016 - 08/20/2016 Into Action

WEEK TEN (08/21/2016 - 08/27/2016) Rest And Restore

WEEK THIRTEEN (09/11/2016 - 09/17/2016)

WEEK FOURTEEN (09/18/2016 - 09/21/2016)

WEEK EIGHT (08/07/2016 - 08/13/2016) Energy Is Everything

WEEK ELEVEN (08/28/2016 - 09/03/2016)

WEEK TWELVE (09/04/2016 - 09/10/2016)

KEEP GOING

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 6 - Summer Blues

Week 6 of Summer: 7/24 - 7/30/2016

Summer is supposed to be a time of NO STRESS, chillaxin', and worldly adventure. However, that's just not always the case. Sometimes, it's hard to relax and plans get all crazy. Also, some people get the Summer blues. There's no guarantee we get to be happy just because it's Summer. We all face seasons of sadness, it's often cornered off to Seasonal-Affective's winter months, but the struggle of being bummed out in July is definitely real.

The important thing here is - not the season, not the world, not your parents, not your boss - No one changes you but you. Keep faith and keep moving. As you shift, everything else shifts too - and even if they're shifts of the smallest size, it matters.

For instance - my anxiety always takes place at night. Falling asleep, being in the right temperature, the perfect position, no upsetting noises, dark, calm - I NEED all those conditions, plus more to fall asleep. I have adapted a bit, but it's still an ordeal, believe me. However, back when I was first noticing this difficulty, I had no coping skills. I still get flustered, upset, restless, and sometimes irate when anxiety and difficulty falling asleep consumes me. The process of learning how to cope with my sleep-anxiety, especially during insufficient-air-conditioning DC Summers, has been a years-long process, I am still working on. However my first idea was - 

I slept the other way. I put my head at the foot of the bed and psyched myself out and often, it helped me fall asleep. "Silly Amy, you're not supposed to sleep this way, this is ridiculous," and the offset was usually just enough to cut through "I AM IN BED I HAVE TO BE SLEEPING" and lull me to sleep. This is not to say this will work for anyone else, it is to say - the littlest, most ridiculous sounding trick just might help. 

Do you have something you struggle with in the Summer? Do you feel more lonely? More burned out (and not just by the sun)? - If Summer blues happen to you, just know you're not alone. Always reach out - on tumblr, a therapy app, IRL, or even to me.

Just try one small different thing and maybe you won't see or feel anything different in that moment - but - with repetition comes mastery and things will move, everything passes with time, and your feelings will always shift. I'm not saying anxiety and depression are simple. What I'm saying is that once you're aware, you can chip away at the problem and be less consumed by it, because, isn't that really all we want. There are no magic cures for anything, so we can work together on indulging in the miraculous yet slow-moving satisfaction of progress. 

Take care.

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 5 - spirituality as normal life-stuff

Week 5 of Summer: 7/17 - 7/23/2016

Grow free, work to become, beware the illusion of material fulfillment.

We don't question nature. We accept it, as it, thanks to science and it's daily display of existence without control. 

I have faith and spirituality in much the same way. If we can agree on the energies of the universe (from still air to aggressive rain to the admirable routine of ocean waves, never mind things like electricity and space exploration) then we can agree there is more at play here than our measly minds. 

Powers greater than yourself you can harness without ever having to talk religion or G-O-D:

1. WRITE: you + pen + paper = more than just one of those elements, 3 is greater than 1.
2. MOVE: changing your position in the universe will actually shift things, as in moving out of the way of an oncoming vehicle!
3. DON'T MOVE: plants don't move much while they're growing, eh? we all need time to be calm, still, and just be one with this huge, wild world, yes, it's meditation, but break it down - it's not as frou frou as people sometimes make it.
4. COOK, CLEAN, SHOWER: Self-care is one of the highest spiritual acts.
5. LAUGH: there's tons of scientific evidence backing this one up, and you love science, right?

If you're doing these things, then you have a grounded, spiritual practice and you don't even know it!

Part of life, goal-setting, and being happy (that illusive, made-up phrase) is putting a lot of time into caring for yourself. It takes time to step away from the distractions and the Kardashians but noticing your own existence is hugely better and more fulfilling in the long rung. 

Little shifts lead to lots of love!

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 4 - To Plan Or Not To Plan

Week 4 of Summer: 7/10 - 7/16/2016

At the beginning of the Summer, I made a Design Your Summer to-do list (thanks Gretchen Rubin!). I have been able to check a good amount of them off, highlights include (black-light!) mini-golf and flatwater tubing down the Potomac at Harper's Ferry. All of this sounds like a lot of planning, doesn't it? 

Planning well in advance feels more casual and ideal. Planning the week of feels stressed and overwrought. That's mostly what I.ve learned. Last minute decision between black-light and traditional mini-golf felt fun, last minute choices regarding how to pull off tubing was.... a real magic-killer. As soon as you lose that 'Summer Stars' feeling try to do what you can to avoid the stressy zone of over-planning.  

• Plan in a way that feels comfortable - do you like big groups or small, planning with someone, divide tasks, etc. 
• Know the people you're going with - their preferences on how an event or day might go.
• Think about food, water, equipment, length of time - all WELL beforehand. 
• REMEMBER God's plan (or energy, weather, any larger power) is not a logistical nightmare; it either works or it doesn't and the mess in between is usually of your own making!

The goal is to not drive yourself crazy over something that is supposed to be fun. I grew up in a snowglobe of tense logistics - such is the LIFEof a latchkey, separate-homes kid. While I appreciate structure (seriously, like a lot) I also have needed to learn, as an adult, when to cut myself a break, let it go, and let the chips and stars fall where they may.

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 3 - Tale of Two Inspos

Week 3 of Summer: 7/3 - 7/9

Are these quotes conflicting messages?

Self-motivation and self-love are separate. It is important to nurture and accept yourself as you are - flaws, struggles, and all. It's also important to reflect and take notice of areas you'd like to keep growing in - NOT as a criticism but as a way to develop more happiness. 

I sometimes snap at people. I have a sharp tongue and I always think I'm right. However, moving through life with love and compassion is my goal. Every successful athlete has some off-games. The goal is to move through those with awareness and compassion toward the self - one of the most difficult things to cultivate. 

Ways I demonstrate self-compassion:

1. I let myself be me - feel my feelings, speak unfiltered, get to the honesty of something, there's always time to review and move beyond.

2. Positive self-talk.

3. Listen to videos by people like Danielle LaPorte and Tony Robbins or check in with my body-pos tribe.

4. I take alone time.

5. I speak openly and very honestly with people I trust. 

There are so many ways to make little shifts that will, in turn, lead to bigger self-love. Sleeping naked is a tip I found this summer (though I still demand panties because fear of creatures) and it's just a nice release and relief - that I love myself to be nude and unbound in any way especially or at the very least in the unending comfort of my own bed. 

Little steps lead to loads of love!

x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 2 - Know Thyself

Week 2 of Summer: 6/26 - 7/2/2016

In playing catch-up, I'm posting Weeks 1 & 2 on this same second week of Summer. Honestly, I'm grateful I'm open to posting at all. 

Positivity Project is Kayla Newhook and I celebrating Summer 2016 with a weekly dose of positive quotes, uplifting photos, and shared ideas. Scroll down to see more, and thanks for joining us! 

credit: unknown

"Being open" is hard. 

Thankfully, we have women like Brené Brown paving the way of vulnerability because fewer than 5 years ago, allowing myself to be that 'open' was strictly forbidden. In my 20's I wasn't always honest with myself, I wasn't a giver of love, and if I was doling out "strength" it was wrought-iron sarcasm - certainly not the integrity and grace I aspire to today. 

Ingrid Nilson described her twenties as a "second adolescence" and I completely agree. Everyone is fiercely commanding an identity as they move into adulthood. Then, with age, easing that grip... What was once stigmatized as "settling down" is really the reclamation of open honesty - finding out, where do your love-giving-vibes lie? 

(no pun intended) 

In my 20s I was adamant about my identity: an Emo, East-Coast-Fuck-You, band-hanger-on who improvised, on stage and in life. It was simple. It avoided dimension - any of which cried out only on livejournal or after 2am. 

However, the longer I stayed in a career, in one place, in one mode of life - personal truths started breaking through. I learned and am leaning about what's important to me and what matters in my life.

credit: unknown

But - HOW - do we get honest with ourselves? Is this a process you can speed up or instigate? Or should you "just know". The only truth, really, is - it's different for everyone. 

Even people who are "born knowing" who they are and what they want to do in life, still evolve through awareness ("growing up"). Time takes time, some of this growth can happen naturally - Many eastern practices denote life cycles of 7 or 9 years and I hear my upcoming 33rd birthday is kind of a big deal. However, over the last half decade, I have transformed.  Through dedicated, introspective learning, writing, and action-taking, I have shifted into a lifestyle of knowledge-seeking, an ever-deepening pursuit of honesty and openness. 

Seeking openness, honesty, and your inner truth takes time, patience, and compassion. I suggest finding support while doing this kind of work. Find people you can trust, who are willing to be open with you, not judge or advise, just share in the vulnerability and experience. Here are some forms this work can take:

• individual therapy
• group therapy
• 12-step groups
• accountability partner or groups
• your best friend over text 
• anonymous support groups or individuals online
• an older mentor who has been through similar growth

Also, I get it - sometimes, this work is more comfortable solo:

• Psychology Today has some personality quiz starters
• Find your Core Values
• Check out some inspiring ladies, for instance: Danielle LaPorte, Tara Brach, the women linked to above, Jes Baker, and so much more - think of a trait you want and google "women who have...." and start exploring the variety of colorful paths!
• Write your own ACT Matrix to discover what actions move you toward the person you want to be and what sticky habits keep you in the shadows.
• Google it.

These aren't the only approaches to completing a personal inventory and living more openly and honestly but I'm grateful for just how many ways there are to explore. A little bit of truth will carry you a long way so tuck in - let's aspire to be open, if not always, then often. 

All the love. x/Amy

Positivity Project - Week 1 - Deconstruction

Week one of Summer: 06/20 - 06/25/2016

• The first day of Summer.
• Summer Solstice
• Strawberry Full Moon

It's officially the Summer!

(...and has been for over a week, work with me here...)

Kayla Newhook and I are celebrating Summer 2016 with a weekly dose of positive quotes and uplifting pictures. Follow along here or start a practice of your own:

1. Find a partner (text, group chat, email, whatever).
2. Pick a frequency or day of the week.
3. Send one quote and one picture.
4. Pause. 
5. Smile!

In this challenging world, cultivating the positive requires practice. We're always resolving to conquer things like self-care, eating well, meditating, and the like. However, smaller steps do more to encourage these larger shifts.

In fact, I proved my first quote right - I haven't blogged since April. I've been going through some personal, emotional shifts and blogging became the task that is never started (up again). My progress slowed. I utilized some of Gretchen Rubin's cues, such as accountability and convenience, to reignite my interest in posting through this project. One small text to Kayla, lead to pictures, lead to being late, lead to not wanting to drop the idea entirely, which ultimately lead to this post and me writing again.

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credit: unknown

Break the big tasks down to the smallest, most accessible steps - which could be simply writing it down, texting someone about it, or even just setting a reminder in your phone!

Happiness is built on progress and oftentimes progress starts very small. Take comfort in Whitman's words and know that moving toward sunshine always involves wading through a storm. 

While I've been in a bit of a storm, I try to focus on the small things I have done. Cleaning, cat care, speaking kind words, letting myself rest, and enjoying the gorgeous sun are all ways I've embraced life - even while feeling like my spirit baby over there - the one aaaall the way to the right, 'just leave me here, this couch is the only thing holding me up'..... because I know this ebb will flow, again.

Response: Happier Podcast, Lucky Charms

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My strange good luck charm is my PHONE WALLPAPER.

When I'm im in need of an emotional shift or support - I'll change my phone background around to suit where my head is at.

If I choose one that lasts a long time or through something significant -- the galaxy print that traveled with me through Europe; the Danielle LaPorte mantra "Vitality is your natural state" that pulled me through a difficult fall/winter; and currently a pop-art pic of Baddie Winkle helping gain personal momentum -- I notice it takes on stronger meaning. 

I begin to associate these wallpapers with whatever energy I'm moving through or toward. Currently pop-art Baddie Winkle is reminding me to stay true to myself and be bold in my creative energies - she is proof that that works - and that's definitely good luck. 

I don't know if you can imbue something to be lucky or not - but noticing the association is key. For instance, in trying to be intentional - I thought a retro bin to collect change in my room stating "the art of making money plenty" was the perfect lucky charm for my wealth corner but it didn't work. I wanted it to cultivate something but it didn't. I am still many pence none-the-richer. So try, try again.

Noticing things that are already working seems to help more than forcing luck or energy shifts to happen. 

I love the 'lucky charm' concept and I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled for more. All the best to my fellow Happier listeners. x/Amy

Inspiration Board: Spring 2016 Rose Quartz

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INSPIRATION BOARD:

💕  I created a quirky, contemporary living room using Donna Wilson's art, minimalism, ease, and comfort as my focus. 💕

💕  Alexander Wang's metallic Anais loafers  💕

💕  The art of Francis Bacon 💕 

BONUS: Check out the eccentric display of my childhood commitment to the color pink BELOW! It's no longer embarrassing, mostly just bold AF and I admire that. 

As you can see, the transition from my youthful flagrance to adult inspiration happens only over time and with experience and refinement.

As we are exposed to more things we develop more intricacies into our tastes.

However, I would still rock 50% of the below ensembles. Socks and sandals while blending into the home decor - now that's impressive! haha

All the love. x/Amy

COLOR TIP:

Using a color you've lost your taste for in new and inspiring ways is an excited challenge. I began loathing pink after a childhood full of BRIGHT fuchsia leggings and puffy coats and generally being teased for my interpreted lack of fashion sense. However, that was a LONG time ago. These days, I love different materials and tones and integrating a classic pink into metallics or interwoven with deeper burgundy has brought new life to a color I was almost certainly done with. 

Use the color as an accent before you go full on. Try a small piece of costume jewelry or a vase in a tone  you've avoided - if it feels good - and go from there. Finding outside things you admire in these colors is also a great way to start, try a pinterest board!

Colorstory: Red as an Earth tone

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I live in an old bungalow that lends itself to more earthy decor. I've embraced it, while adding as much of my cosmo-minimalist flare as I can (in a house of 3 roommates). Above you'll see how red has incorporated itself, almost unintentionally, in various corners. 

TOP LEFT: My bedroom relationship corner where I have a kiehl's bold red gift box just out of frame full of relationship mementos along with the red flowers in a Name's Day card my boyfriend gave me. I tied the red into the pink of the vase and the white of the walls and flowers.

TOP RIGHT: My roommate and former roommate have contributed all of the pieces in this space of our living room. How do you make a red, blue, green, and wood palette work? It's not something I would pick out but it's incredible to see how intentional we've made it look.  The threads of color are through all the pieces and the red couch sort of blends in rather than dominates the space.

BOTTOM LEFT: Gold! Gold and Green have been a good thread to carry with the red accents and really modernizes a house full of old wood. While you do risk the Christmas vibe, I think we land more on old world European. 

BOTTOM RIGHT: My bedroom's winter motif. I bought new bedding to make use of my room's given warm or yellow overtone which makes this look seamless. If  you're renting, it's easier to work with what you've got. The soft lighting of a rainbow bulb and twinkle lights add incredible warmth to the cozy space.

I played with both warmer and cooler versions of this palette. The paint, lighting, and natural structure of the house informed those choices. I  used red cohesively rather than divisively through intentional placement, avoiding singular over-saturation.

 

I want to encourage you to not be afraid of red, it's more utilitarian than you think and is never boring. However, despite it's boldness, this serves as a reminder that red can be used tastefully and feel integrated rather than claiming too much of the space. 

Do you use RED in your home design? I'd love to read how and see pictures. Tag your pics on Instagram with #NMRed and I'll update this post with credited submissions - Shared style is the best style.

x/Amy

Life After 30 (high altitude, single origin, 1800m above sea level only)

The above subtitle is one I read about espresso - in a pay-for-content, blog-famous personality's 2016 Almanac. It made me laugh. It put some ideas in perspective - I've been mulling over the differences between those in their twenties and we in our thirties. This description illustrates what I've discovered astutely.  

People seem to move from the self-righteous flailing of youth toward revelatory living with conviction - they're not dissimilar but are packaged very differently.

TWENTIES

From what I gather, it's largely the same from when I was there - now with Snapchat! A lot of brazen attitude. There's the not giving any fucks, road trips, music, and drugs and/or the audacity to believe they're going to disrupt all of the things. It's the two sides of young responsibility - "Me? Fuck no, never! I'd rather be buried in my debt than give in to the man." or "It's well within my 5-year plan to be worth over a million and I'm currently a Creative Director of something that may or may not exist after those 5 years but who cares because money." 

THIRTIES

Common thoughts here: "Wait. No, seriously, wait - all that was bullshit? Now I actually have to figure out what I really want my life to be about? Ooooookay. How do you expect me to do that?" There's the calm relief from the removal of the imagined pressure of your twenties. But then comes the renewal of the concept that this is our one life and we better make it count. Enter in loads of guidance:

• HOW TO BE PRODUCTIVE
• 10 MORNING RITUALS HAPPY PEOPLE STICK TO
• SUPER FOODS
• 7 MINUTE WORKOUTS BETWEEN SOULCYCLE CLASSES
• FUCK THAT CORPORATE LADDER - I'M AN ENTREPRENEUR! 
• ALL THE COACHING AND BOUTIQUE LEARNING
• MEDITATION
• DON'T LOOK AT ALL THAT - I'M STILL SO COOL (so cool I have an excessively specific, pretentious espresso standard)

This is not a critique. I'm claiming what I'm seeing - how our needs change between these two decades. As I said, however, it's not SO different. 

Similarities include: perpetually getting "healthy", being better about money, binging on Netflix, congratulating oneself for "adulting", and procrastinating. 

I enjoy being in my thirties. However, the calm that happens, the resigning of myself to the truth that figuring it all out never happens and reclaiming seeing the beauty in the journey - I can't claim that. I didn't cause or create that, fortunately that seems to happen naturally. What I do claim is that - 

I have some beliefs that will not wane as I move forward toward forty. Here they are, in a nutshell:

WHAT I'M OKAY WITH:

I'm totally cool with (and grateful for) "I'm hungover," never being a reason for anything ever again. Seeing a progression in how I spend my time, and what my social time is centered around is cool - it's the point - what would a life on only 1 mode be? These 20 year-olds who crave adventure, excitement, etc. will hopefully be able to see that the definition of that isn't confined to one filtered tumblr image of a road trip. I experience more with the expanded eyes and interests where I am now than when my Saturday-night-checklist was short and stupid.

WHAT I'M NOT OKAY WITH:

(and will continually try to work against, here are some posts around my work on fear)

This one is terrifyingly real and we have to put in work to fight against it. I combat it with surprise dates, saying yes to things I'm uncertain about, trying new things, travel, moving myself more toward curiosity and interest and away from obligation, and working on staying in the present. Personally, I have always been the chart on the right, but I believe there's hope. Just don't be blindsided youngins, stay woke.

WHAT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT:

• DRESSING YOUR AGE - get the fuck out of here with that, absolutely not. 
• Mandated MILESTONES - marriage, kids, savings accounts, a practical job, they're ALL OPTIONAL, remember that.
• Concepts like - own, rent, new, used, vintage,  branding, marketing, quick fixes, people never change, money as a solution, fitting in - always find ways to stay true to yourself.
• BEING UNAWARE, it's never too early to care about your health or learn to manage your money

WHAT'S TOTALLY ACCURATE

...and that's okay. When I'm home in NJ I hang out with my 23-year-old brother and his friends and I have fun for a couple hours and then I go home to my reasonable bedtime or prayer life or tarot reading and it's all good. I respect their need to explore the world explosively, I strive to do so in new ways also. I also really appreciate how comfortable I feel, the support I have, the pockets of stability where I can wander off and explore the world, rearranging my bedroom, and continuing to grow my life - openly and not within the confines of either decades' made-up structures. 

x/Amy

New Years Unresolved

People are very bold and declarative around this time of year. Does it work? Is that part of the resolution?   

There are a lot of voices debating ‘new year, new you’ and whether or not you should be aggressively Type A or defiantly self-protective simply because the calendar is revolving. Doesn't matter if it's positive or negative it's all aggro.

Personal freedom allows you to be/ do/ say whatever you want, without proclamations or defense. Loud and proud doesn't really mean anything when Facebook is curated, altered, and filtered best-self BS anyway. 

I was formerly IDGAF about new year’s resolutions. Then for a span of 4 or so years I submitted to that aggressively Type A recommendation and, really, nothing ‘extra’ came out of it. In fact, all of the change I have achieved throughout my life has been years-long sustained effort, focusing and refocusing, giving myself a break, seizing opportunities, and generally just ‘working on it’ for YEARS.

This desperate seeking of endpoints (perfect job, ideal weight, marriage, being published or garnering some idea of fame, forever-home, or forever-anything) is self-defeating pressure at best and completely ridiculous and self-denying at worst.

We have an endpoint - it’s death. Appreciate every day as an opportunity for progress because perfection is lame and/or an illusion and why set yourself up trail-markers for disappointment and self-criticism? 

Did you know:

• You can be subtle.
• You can be wishy-washy on goals or personal reform.
• You do not have to lose weight or change careers, reorganize your life, or slam declarations on your facebook feed like some boot-camp Betty. (sexist)

After spending a year wading through a majority of readily available online and IRL self-help: radical self-love blogs; career transformation workshops; spiritual gurus; extensive yoga and personal wellness courses; IMCW community meditation, and so on the impact it had on my resolutions for 2016 is this:

• Art

• Service

• Action

Literally taking any action of any kind will mean I’m meeting my goals for this year. I also want to create more and  help others. Previously it was always fix finances!, lose weight, get healthy!, move abroad! - while these are good ideas and worthy things to work on -- they’re not leaving my mind, whether I put them on an agitated list of declarations or not. They’re still there. However, when I reflect on what I’ve learned through both experience and my reactions to these ‘gurus’ - making space for the feelings I need (rested, healthy, creatively productive, and full of joy and laughter) has much more of a positive impact than driving home pressure-filled, socially enforced demands.

These are just ideas - I still love getting Type A on my closet arrangement or to-do lists, regardless of how much I encourage some part of me to become a hippie. Mostly, I wish you the energy to do what makes you feel good and right with yourself. Give yourself freedom and compassion. Memes don't mean much - just be true to you - whether that's running a fitspo tumblr or ignoring dieting because other real-life shit is going. 

Social media can be great support, the line is where that turns to pressure or critique. 

What do you think? -- What are your ideas for the coming months? Big plans? Small habits to be revised? I’d love to work together on things we may have in common, feature your posts on the subject, etc - please comment or get in touch!

x/Amy

SUFFERING

All suffering is the same.

- This is a loaded concept, but one I was advised to accept for my own sanity. Everyone suffers at one time or another - it's not a matter of why or how - it's a matter of regard that its happening and practicing compassion.

The goal is to perceive suffering as 'on/off' rather than a scalable condition. 

Outrageous, I know. People in third-world countries unquestionably suffer more than I do, right? While I believe that to be true, that has little IRL, real-world application. I practice gratitude to account for the privilege I was born into. I practice this common-suffering concept to account for  all my judgement-of-others I also was born into. 

Facebook is a breeding ground for arguments about right and wrong but a base level of understanding and empathy would really do everyone a ton of good. Everything at it's core is either fear or love and if we left it at that we could all go about our business without all the hatemongering that the internet and IRL culture fosters. 

Humans are tribal by nature and many can only typically have empathy within the limit of what they've experience within that tribe.

This is why Republicans needed to have family members come out as gay for them to open their mind to any sort of 'love is love' point of view. Many humans can not have empathy for concepts that don't actually touch their lives.  "People are suffering because their love is prohibited," should be enough. It doesn't matter where or how their suffering falls on your personal spectrum. 

An individualized spectrum of suffering doesn't count for shit. Turning off my quantifying and qualifying of others' suffering has given me unimaginable amounts of peace and a much larger capability for kindness.  Turn on your IFTT recipe for 'If Suffering Then Compassion'.

Make striving   for peace bigger than your judgment.

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All the love. x/Amy

Holistic health coach CAIT BYRNES on SUGAR

Getting Real About Sugar

BY CAIT BYRNES

Sugar, wtf.    

So I’m in the middle of my first Whole 30, which I didn’t think would be terribly difficult for me.  30 days of no grains (I already don’t eat gluten), no dairy (already there), no legumes (eh, I can take them or leave them), and no added sugar – natural or otherwise (small amounts of fruit are ok).  I thought, no problem, I don’t eat THAT much sugar.  I’m generally a pretty healthy eater, right?

I was so wrong.

I AM generally a healthy eater, but what I didn’t realize is just how much hidden sugar there is in the everyday foods I was eating.  I definitely noticed some withdrawal type symptoms, similar to when trying to get off caffeine. I was feeling sort of angry, headachy, tired, and annoyed.  I think it really hit me when I was starving, walking around the grocery store trying to find a quick option for dinner and figured I’d pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Every single one had a form of sugar.  On chicken?  Really?

Everything from pickled peppers, to ketchup, to Emergen-C, to deli meat.  Everything my partner picked up and asked frantically “CAN I HAVE THIS” was a solid no, due to some form of sugar. 

It’s terrifying.  And it’s been a huge eye opener.

Food companies say they add sugar to their products to “enhance taste” but really, they do it to get you hooked.  Sugar lights up the same pleasure centers of our brain that a drug would, and once you have one hit you always want more.  Our bodies are hardwired to crave sugar in particular, because in the days of hunting and gathering, something sweet was a quick form of energy (Keep in mind, fruit was the sweetest thing you could typically find.  Not nearly as much sugar as that gluten-free donut).  It makes it extremely difficult to say no when that food comes up again.  And yet, we’re often told it’s a “lack of will power” that causes us to cave into food cravings.

No, asshole.  It’s you and all your added sugar. 

The other thing that’s been really striking to me is the way that I tend to use sugar, or food in general, in response to my emotions.  I knew I was sort of doing that, but this is the first time I’ve really had to challenge that, instead of giving in.  Generally, my idea of giving into a sweet tooth was a banana with almond butter, or some dark chocolate, but the point is that I’m reaching for those things for comfort, instead of dealing with whatever is going on. It’s been difficult, but I’m grateful for the chance to ask myself “what am I really craving here?”  I really noticed it when I had a few big projects due at the same time and was getting stressed out, and my first thought was “I just need a treat.”

No. I just need to sit down and do my work.  And maybe drink some extra water, write in my journal and take a nap.

To anyone considering a Whole 30, I can say wholeheartedly to give it a go.  Planning and prepping makes it a lot easier (so you don’t end up frantic and starving in the grocery store, like me), and it’s so SO worth it to be forced to take a good hard look at your current diet.  My body is super grateful for the break from sugar, and I’ll be sure to report more from the other side.

How about you?  Do you struggle with sugar cravings? Let me know in the comments below!

-

Note from Amy: Thank you, Cait for sharing this awesome post on my blog. Everyone should check Cait out - especially those in the Baltimore/ DMV area - she is hella beautiful and stylish (she even does burlesque!) and crazy motivating - getting to see her grow her holistic health practice keeps me on my toes! Thanks, love! 

x/Amy

COMPARE

Comparison is an Ego disease.

Comparison is an ego disease. 

My posting about style is about as amateur as it gets, I'm aware. There are women my age (and younger!) running fashion magazines, labels, brands, million-hit-blogs and I'm touting the virtues of hand-me-downs. Luckily, that's not the point - but my brain insists on it being a factor. 

Last night, I went to a hookah bar with Mickey and Anthony (both 22). Their 5:30pm shots of tequila allowed for a rather exploratory scope of conversation. I saw my brother and his friend in a different light - as struggling young adults, uncomfortable in their growing pains - it is a tough summer. Most of his friends, including Anthony, graduated while Mick's staying on to do another year for his graduate degree. Everyone's working and moving away from friends and girlfriends - wondering if and how these relationships will last. Mickey has a new apartment and internship, multiple jobs within the University, and is starting to formulate potential start-up ideas. Michael Daniel Ladines is doing the damn thing. It's impressive to watch. It's familiar, however, to see him this weekend - on an impromptu road-trip to see far-away friends, recounting high school missed opportunities while tipsy with his sorely missed best friend.  Doing the damn thing is doing Mickey's head in with ALL THE CHANGE. Every fluid reflection was a validation of his or their choices, soaked with insecurity. Everyone is scrambling in their early 20s. 

Settling into my 30s, I've slowed down a bit. I'm taking a minute to look around. This gives me the freedom to play older, wiser (in my own head) while I eat chicken and salad and they opt for beer instead of food.  Mickey remarked that Mom could not stop talking about me, how happy and proud of me she is. While she's always been positive about my growth, this struck me  as odd - I haven't done anything. Aside from the past year of intense self-care resulting in significant weight loss and a healthy romantic relationship, nothing's changed. Is that worthy of the beaming pride I can actually feel over the phone from my mother?

IS SUCCESS BETTER QUANTIFIED BY HOW YOU MEET YOUR PERSONAL AND EMOTIONAL NEEDS IN ANY GIVEN CIRCUMSTANCE THAN BY HITTING ARBITRARY SOCIETAL MILESTONES? 

The definition of success doesn't have to be so rigid. I mean - Maureen just got MARRIED - exceptionally well, I might add - no detail of that warm, expansive party was overlooked. Sarah P. and Rachel both GRADUATED (in hella tough, impressive subjects). Kate and Pam moved back to the States after 5 or so years LIVING ABROAD and extensive traveling (I'm definitely about that life). Sarah H. and Hafsah each HAVE 3 KIDS (who are absurdly cute and I sometimes claim as my own)! Alongside that, there are the timelines and accomplishments of celebrities and 'locally famous' people to marvel at. I could get really caught up in WHY AREN'T I DOING THOSE THINGS? But... NAH. In this moment everything is okay. Somewhere, somehow, I've stopped comparing. I've stopped adhering to a rigidly defined definition of success. 

We live in a culture that enforces instant gratification and a strict set of circumstances to define success and happiness. Success, satisfaction, and happiness are not in an object (bottle, ensemble, or paycheck). Those things are achieved by your reactions to life - how you respond to what's directly in front of you. So, I've stopped comparing. It's a weapon. 

I've raised my awareness of how damaging comparison-living is. I consciously move away from it. I move toward participating in the moment and being good to myself, honoring what feels good (like documenting my outfits and using it as both a self-actualization tool and a fun blog component). Other things: 

• Take the facebook app off your phone (you can still access the site from your web browser but I find myself checking it WAY less). 
• Unplug -put the phone down- when in an actual IRL social setting.  
• Have conversations and observe that others are doing this same constant self-evaluation in their own head. 
• Accept yourself - you're exactly where you're supposed to be - taking teeny-tiny or even large steps to whatever makes you happy.

These little adjustments in behavior and perception have helped me see what a success simply being alive and grateful for it really is. Removing comparison and imagined expectations gives me freedom - the freedom you might not feel from under that cap and gown and the weight of the world of opportunities on your shoulders.

"Don't let perfection be the enemy of the good." (Voltaire) and 'what's good' is subjective and within yourself not quantifiable by comparison. 

x/Amy

Further Reading: Being busy does not equal being productive and 9 other Fundamental Success Truths We Forget Too Easily  (via Forbes)

Found Style -a discourse on closet curation-

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BACKSTORY 

My interest in fashion grew out of my love for the 2004 Emo scene, Sex and the City, and binge-watching What Not to Wear. I had to find a way to express myself through fashion without having the funds to simply replicate the pages of Lucky or Vogue. Fortunately, it's never been easier to take big inspiration and make small changes to grow your wardrobe and style. 

1. Screw magazine subscriptions; use Instagram, tumblr and other apps. 
2. Inventory often - both what you own and what style you're making your own. 
3. Survey seasonal trends and implement with pieces you already have. 
4. Utilize friends, family, and gift opportunities wisely. 
5. Stay connected with your fashion inspiration - from body positive models to spiritual, lifestyle mavens. I will explore all of these tactics and more through August as I survey where my style and skill stand today.

How has your personal style journey unfolded? Would love to hear about your relationship with clothes. Comment below. 

x/Amy